Episode Recap: Everybody Knows

Wynonna and Dolls go a trekkin’ for Tucker at the Gardner residence. They find his “sisters” — the widows in fleshy disguise —playing ignorant of the past twenty-four hours. Despite their best impersonation, Wynonna is not convinced. And Mercedes / Widow is still recovering from her run-in with Peacemaker.

Back at the Earp residence, Jeremy schools the sisters on the Widows’ history: they were unclassified demons released from Black Badge containment when Doc exploded the place with his nitroglycerin popsicles. Waverly is certain that the Widows are looking for the final seal, and will stop at nothing to get it. Wynonna is visited by an obstetrician, at Dolls’ behest, and things get a trifle…personal. To figure out who the father is, that OBGYN is going to need some blood from both potential daddies. Lizard blood from Dolls, and undead blood from Doc.

Meanwhile, Doc is visited by a figure from his past — a young boy looking to close out the warrant on Doc’s head. The warrant was made almost 200 years ago. Some people can hold a grudge. Dolls is understandably unsettled, but Waverly misinterprets his demeanor for disappointment at possibly not being the father of Wynonna’s child (something Wynonna was planning on keeping secret until further notice). Waverly puts her well-meaning foot right into her big, well-meaning mouth.

And while Dolls and Jeremy are staking out the Gardner home in the event dumb-dumb Tucker waltzes back, Jeremy finds a swatch of veil he picked up in the saloon after their fight with the widows. Analyze that, J dog! And Wynonna, not feeling to hot, takes Nicole with her to a non-Doc-owned bar, Pussy Willows. And it's there we meet Jonas, with whom she once had sex (awkward); and he, of COURSE, happens to be a Revenant (awkward x2). And that means that the father of Wynonna’s child could be Revenant, and the child half-Rev (awkward full house).

Back at the sheriff’s office, Doc is gearing up for another blast from his outlaw past — that is, arming himself with enough firepower to blow up St. Petersburg — when Jeremy requests his and Dolls’ help in the lab. All six hands are needed to capture the vaporous toxin emitted from the slip of veil, which Jeremy can then use to mix up an antidote. Jeremy uses a binding spell to draw out the vapor: but instead succeeds in binding them all together with invisible chains. Classic Jeremy.

But you got to hand it to the geek: his timing’s impeccable. Right after binding all three of them together, the phantom bounty hunter Reeves looking for Doc catches him, and strings him up by the neck. Inadvertently, this dude nabs the rest of the fellas as well — something he didn’t expect. Dolls, Doc, and Jeremy perform a bit of ballet to disentangle themselves from the rope, and knock out Reeves.

And back at Pussy Willows, Jonas is getting a little handsy with Wynonna. When neither she nor Nicole can stand this Revenant’s repugnant behavior any longer, they go into full Black Badge mode. Waverly knocks Jonas in the windpipe, while Nicole uses her hidden gun to blow out the switchboard on the place, killing the lights, and make their exit in the dark (as all best exits are made).

But Jonas pursues his possible baby momma outside, and is now a little excited at the prospect of spawning a new race of human-Revenant beings. Wynonna is…less excited. She aims Peacemaker at Jonas ready to send him to hell, but he bolts. Luckily, Waverly arrives just in time to curtail Jonas’ escape — by smashing the car door in his face. The three of them take the Rev out to a field, where Wynonna eliminates him from the pool of future daddies.

Jeremy, Dolls and Doc are not so lucky. While trying to evade the phantasmal Reeves, they end up running into an entire squadron of ghostly bounty hunters. Out of the frying pan, into the firing squad. Reeves reads Doc his crimes: apparently he had sex with the wrong judge’s woman. Twice. Looks like two wrongs don’t make a right. The hour of execution approaching, Dolls recognizes Reeves for who he really is: the famed US Marshall, the one who inspired Dolls himself to dedicate himself to the law. Dolls flashes his badge, and it’s much bigger than Reeves, making him a superior officer. Dolls orders the men to stand down, and they do. That was a close one.