Warning: If you don't want to know what happened in this episode, don't read this photo recap!
Poor Julia. Having betrayed Quentin and getting kicked out of her coven of hedge witches she has nowhere to turn to keep learning new magic. She makes one last (hedge) ditch effort to demand some of the magic she helped Marina steal from Brakebills but is warned to stay away; Marina WILL hurt her.
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After a visit from Dean Fogg, Alice agrees to return to Brakebills during what happens to be Alumni Week, in which past Brakebills students pick a current student to mentor for the year. Eliot and Margo are obsessed with the idea of making sure they get a mentor who can get them VIP access to the magical world. Namely, Alice's aunt Genji.
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Not one for joining in, Penny is working away in a classroom when in walks Stanley, another traveler who, like it or not, has decided he is going to be Penny’s mentor. Stanley warns Penny about the dangers of not getting his new found powers in check, by showing off his ratty old wooden leg.
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Things are still tense between Quentin and Alice (what with Quentin trapping her brother in a niffin-box for all eternity) when she delivers a note to him from the office: Tough news – Quentin’s dad is sick.
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Neither Eliot or Margo have secured a mentor for the coming year so they are starting to get desperate. Both come to Alice to ask her put in a good word for them with her aunt. Begging, flattery, garish outfits -- these two will try ANYTHING.
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While everyone is freaking out back at Brakebills, Quentin is having his own freak out. His father has brain cancer and is not seeking treatment for it. Instead Quentin’s dad wants to use the time he has left to fix his and Q’s broken relationship. (Cue ALL THE FEELS.)
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Having tried their hands at begging for an intro from Alice, Eliot and Margo move on to bribes. I mean, would you expect anything less? The two friends gear up for their version of healthy competition. In Eliot’s own words, “This is war, bitch.”
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What is a hedge witch to do when she’s cut off from all of her magic info? Google. Duh! However, after almost burning down her apartment with an invisible fire spell she finds on line, she turns back to Pete, using her feminine wiles (that's code for: she slept with him) so he’ll agree to help her find a new group of hedge witches.
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What’s a magic school without it’s own magic games!? At Brakebills, they play Welters. Kind of like chess, the aim is to capture squares on the Welters board using spells. This game is a big deal to Margo who wants to impress the prospective mentors. However, distracted by his father’s cancer, Quentin kind of unleashes a black hole on the stadium…
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… which wipes the whole board, winning the game for Margo and the Physical kids.
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Post-coital Penny lets slip to Kady that he is considering performing a spell that would tether his body to earth, effectively making him no longer able to transport his body, but instead only astral project. Kady’s advice? Don’t give up your power! In fact, use it to steal stuff! Anyone surprised?
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You know how Penny has been hearing that woman scream lately? No? Oh, well he has. Later that night he decided to go see if he could contact her, see if she needs help. What does he find? HOLY CRAP SHE IS LOCKED UP IN CHAINS BEING HELD CAPTIVE BY THE BEAST! Turns out she was part of that 3rd year class that went missing. Eep.
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Meet Cancer Puppy, the cutest 150 year old dog ever: enchanted to be a puppy forever. The spell doesn’t keep the little cutie from getting riddled with disease. Quentin, in an attempt to save cancer puppy and thereby find a cure for his father’s condition, Quentin ends up killing the dog, getting in trouble, and confessing to his father that he’s a magician.
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Julia is PISSED after figuring out that Marina and Pete have wiped her boyfriend James’s mind of any memory of her. Pete claims it was to protect James from Julia and her quest for more power. We have a feeling though that Pete and Marina ain’t seen nothing yet.
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Back at Brakebills, Eliot and Margo receive the harsh news that the mere thought of mentoring either one of them is completely exhausting to Genji, leaving them both mentor-less for the year. All that ass-kissing for nothing.