Chosen One of the Day: Mummy Ganondorf from Breath of the Wild

Ever since Nintendo dropped the trailer for Breath of the Wild 2: Electric Boogaloo during E3 2019, people have been losing it over the reveal of Ganondorf’s mummified corpse. It’s a well-deserved reaction; mummy Ganondorf just brings so much to the table.

First, I was disappointed when The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword decided to explain Ganondorf’s villainy by putting a demon in him from the jump. I guess I’m just a huge fan of people suffering consequences for their actions, especially if those consequences involve a tortured, near-immortal experience where you slowly devolve into a boar demon over millennia. Having Link and Zelda encounter mummy Ganondorf after they have handled said demon—Calamity Ganon—opens up a world of possibilities. Did Ganondorf know? Was he a good witch or a bad witch? Was he trying to get the demon out? Was the royal family trying to get the demon out? Did Ganondorf try to sacrifice himself for the greater good—OR WAS HE LURED THERE AND MURDERED? BUM BUM BUM!!!

Second of all, he looks STUNNING. Long, flowing crimson hair, absolutely dripping in gold jewelry (THE DIADEM!), and long nails, with only a patriotic skirt to protect his mummy modesty. Oh, and don’t forget the glowing red eyes or the DOUBLE FANGS. Whatever Ganondorf was up to in the basement, he was doing it in style. 

It’s no wonder people immediately seized on the opportunity to make that mummy thicc. The social media frequencies were flooded with Hydrated Ganondorfs (Ganondorves? Ganondwarrow?) ranging from “beef” to “maximum beef.” Personally, as someone who falls in the “Ganondorf’s always been hot, where have you BEEN” camp, I am game for Hydrated Ganondorf, but I’m secretly holding out hope for Mummy Ganondorf, held together only by dark magic and style. 

The possibilities are endless, and the earrings? FLAWLESS.