Chosen One of the Day: Lizzo as the Ursula we deserve

The world has been seeing a lot of Lizzo lately. The singer/rapper/goddess has been touring to promote her latest album Cuz I Love You, popping up on the awards show circuit, and her bops have been the soundtrack to dozens of rom-coms and feel-good ads for sporting events like the Super Bowl over the past few years.

She’s blowing up and she deserves every ounce of praise heaped upon her.

You know what else she deserves? To play Ursula in the planned live-action remake of The Little Mermaid.

Sure, we could question why Disney wants to shove another reboot of a perfectly fine classic down our throats (it’s for the money, y’all) but it’s going to happen, we’re going to go see it, so we might as well dream cast it. And we have.

Lizzo, who’s been campaigning for the role for a quite a while now, feels like the perfect choice to play the purple-tinged sea monstress, the villain with a brassy set of pipes who tricks poor Ariel into coughing up her voice for a chance at true love. Personally, I’ve always seen Ursula as a misunderstood anti-heroine who shouldered all of the blame for a young, naive girl’s (err fish's?) poor decision-making, but we’re not here to argue semantics over Ursula’s character arc. We’re here to squash the notion that anyone, and I mean anyone, deserves to play the tentacled temptress more than this coconut oil queen.

If our beloved Melissa McCarthy takes the role, as rumor has it, we have no doubt she will terrify and thrill as Ursula, but Lizzo was born for this. Literally. God took a break from whatever the hell he was doing on the day Lizzo was created to marvel at his genius, his sheer imagination. Here’s a body positivity role model so bold, so brazen, so unapologetically awesome there’s no other Disney character she could possibly play but the scene-stealing sea-witch with a voice so soulful, so unique, even Beyoncé probably bows in prayer whenever she hears her drop a verse.

And Lizzo isn’t just resting on her proven track record when it comes to creating bangers to land her the role — she’s going full-method, recording an acoustic rendition of one of the movie’s most beloved songs in a look that should make any stylist/makeup artist Disney decides to hire stand up and take note.

Show me a more fire audition than this Disney and I’ll gladly bow to your choice. Until then, let the battle for Ursula rage on.