The Jedi deaths in Order 66, ranked by how sad they make me

Once upon a time there were Jedi, and the Jedi were good, and then they kinda stopped being good and got really involved in politics and were generally awful to this distraught 10-year-old because they sensed human emotion in him and then one day the distraught 10-year-old turned into a distraught adult who sided with Sheev (ha) Palpatine, the enemy of the Jedi, because the enemy of the Jedi had the emotional awareness to recognize that at this point this kid would do literally anything for someone who pulled him aside and was like, “Hey, it seems like you’re not doing OK, do you wanna talk?”

Anyway, then the Jedi died. All it took was one little broadcast from Sheev (a sinister broadcast, though not a Fortnite-exclusive one) and it was time for Order 66. Legions of Clone troopers suddenly stopped being cool, chill guys and instead shot all the Jedi in cold blood. Sad stuff, I know.

With the series finale of The Clone Wars airing today, May 4, aka Star Wars Day, aka May the 4th, it seemed like the right time to revisit this particularly dark chapter in the Star Wars saga. These are the deaths of the Jedi in Order 66 that we see, ranked by how sad they make me, personally.

(This ranking will also include the Jedi Palpatine killed during the confrontation preceding Order 66. Just, y'know, for your awareness.)

Nepotism is bad. The son of George Lucas, Jett Lucas, plays Zett Jukassa. The death of Zett Jukassa is the death of nepotism.

Good.

Hey so like, who are these kids? Why should I care? Next. 

Credit: Lucasfilm

Eh.

Credit: Lucasfilm

I forgot Stass was in this scene until I started writing this list.

Credit: Lucasfilm

These two don’t literally get taken out in the same blow but they might as well have given how quickly Palps kills them. It’s the same combo. You hate to see it. If they hadn’t gone out like absolute punks I might have been a little more affected by it, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to mourn the death of what are apparently two massive jabronis.

Sheev’s like 80 — y’all gotta do better.

The way she kinda throws her hands up in a combination of shock and defenselessness as the Clones start firing on her is so authentic to me because when you’re getting shot at by people you once fought alongside, you’re probably too shocked to be conscious of how stupid you look in the moment. Deeply relatable stuff right there.

Growing up, Plo Koon always felt like the Prequel-era platonic ideal of a character you always wanted to know more about — a hallmark of the Star Wars franchise. The saga has always been full of these incredible character and creature designs that you can't help but look at and think, "What's their deal? I gotta know their deal." With his vaguely sinister demeanor (at total odds with the fact that he’s a Jedi!) and killer design, I craved any bit of backstory or character development in expanded universe lore I could find.

As an adult I'm just like damn, this dude does kinda look like a walking cockroach and I don't want walking cockroaches to own lightsabers. I'm not glad he's dead but I'm not shedding any tears over it.

His head is so weird. I love it. Easily a top-five Star Wars universe head shape. So many wrinkles and curves, it's just a wonderful, wonderful head.

Ki-Adi-Mundi also radiates nobility and grace in such a weirdly authentic way. You see him and just think, "Oh, that's what a Jedi is supposed to be."Politically the dude is a little suspect, but, then again, so were all the Jedi back then with their whole, "What if we just sort of sit back and meditate on that?" philosophy when they coulda been slicing and dicing the Sith with ease. Still. They didn't have to do him like that.

You have truly become an adult as a Star Wars fan when you realize that Mace Windu is not the super-cool guy with the first-ever purple lightsaber. He's actually kind of an a**hole.

If my dude had just been like, maybe a little bit more chill to the distraught 10-year-old who came before him in The Phantom Menace, he probably could have single-handedly prevented all of the terror that ensued. This isn’t to minimize Yoda's contributions to the rise of the Empire (just CGI Yoda, though, Puppet Yoda is innocent) but Mace really could have used a few hours with that book on love languages or something.

Anyways, he's still rad as hell and it fully sucks to watch him go out like he does, having just realized how wrong he's been about everything. He also gets messed up by Palpatine, maybe more so than any other Jedi in the sequence. Hard to say how it compares to what Plo Koon experienced when his ship exploded but that's a discussion for another day.

Credit: Lucasfilm

My sweet summer child, my sun and stars, my favorite character in the Star Wars prequels. This big ol' fish-man with his tentacle dreadlocks and deranged grin in the Battle of Geonosis is an absolute legend in my household and his death still hurts as much today as it did in 2005 when I first saw it.

He was so young, so full of potential, so undeniably cool. Sometimes I still wonder what it'd be like to touch Kit Fisto, much as Diego Luna ponders on the skin texture of Jabba the Hutt. Would he be filmy and slimy? Was his puke-green skin dry or did he maintain a perpetual damp-ness? I'll never know. He's dead now.

Kit was always too good for the Jedi, too good for these movies. One day, when my time comes and I pass on into the Force, I hope he's the first to greet me on the other side.

Rest easy, Kit. I love you. I've always loved you.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are the author's, and do not necessarily reflect those of SYFY WIRE, SYFY, or NBCUniversal.