There's now a gargoyle talking trash to guests at Denver's airport

Ever since its opening in the mid-1990s, the Denver International Airport (DIA) has spawned countless conspiracy theories as to its dark and sinister nature. Now there's a gargoyle inside the terminal to confirm it's all true.

Yesterday, to celebrate its 24th birthday, DIA gave all of the air travelers who wander its halls a gift: a Chatty Gargoyle. Rather than try to explain exactly what it does, we'll use the video the airport posted to its YouTube page yesterday, so you can enjoy the witty gargoyle banter for yourself.

DIA has explained that the gargoyle was put in place to clear the air on all the conspiracies (massive compounds beneath the terminal, alleged ties to the "New World Order," bizarre murals lining the walls ...) but proved to be "wiser than we thought, and is sharing more than we planned." The airport also announced the Chatty Gargoyle's arrival on Twitter, where they played up his fun-loving side — but stayed on brand by hashtagging #Illuminati.

Aside from the normal dunking on Millennials for using their phones and chiding passers-by for poor wardrobe choices, the 243-year-old Chatty Gargoyle goes all in whenever there's even a whisper of the Illuminati within ear(?) shot of him.

This is part of a larger campaign by the Denver Airport, dubbed #TheDenFiles, that gleefully invites any and all talk of mysterious goings-on in the catacombs that lie beneath. Or in some cases — right in plain sight.

One thing that isn't clear is how the Chatty Gargoyle works, as its interactions are way too customized to be automated. We've reached out for comment from the Denver Airport and will update this story if we hear back.