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Dream Casting: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders
Dream Casting is an imaginative look at the casting process of potential Hollywood projects based on comics and other media. This isn't just about what is being made; this is about what should be made, and who we think should be the stars.
"Stardust Crusaders" is the third part of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, in which the villainous Dio from "Phantom Blood" returns after a hundred years and an elderly Joseph Joestar from "Battle Tendency" seeks out his half-Japanese grandson, surly '80s teen Jotaro Kujo.
With a handful of other allies, all of whom wield the power psychic entities known as Stands, they go on a globetrotting mission to stop Dio's evil and save Jotaro's mother Holy, who of course is also Joseph's daughter.
There's so much plot in "Stardust Crusaders" that it would probably need to be split into more than one movie for this live-action franchise I've been imagining, but that shouldn't be a problem, as it has action set pieces and international intrigue to spare.
Charles Melton as Jotaro Kujo
Charles Melton (Riverdale) has the stature and the looks to play this new JoJo, as well as the charisma to anchor the ensemble.
Stephen Lang as Joseph Joestar
I considered suggesting George MacKay reprise his role from Battle Tendency in old-age makeup, but that sort of thing is rarely satisfying, and Stephen Lang (Avatar) is perfect for this much more grizzled Joseph Joestar.
Mary Lynn Rajskub as Holy Joestar Kujo
It would take a special sort of actress to take Holy Kujo — a middle-aged woman who acts like a flighty teen girl — and make her at all charming or believable, but I think Mary Lynn Rajskub (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) can handle it.
Bokeem Woodbine as Mohammed Avdol
Bokeem Woodbine (Spider-Man: Homecoming) will cut an intimidating figure as the Stand Master Mohammed Avdol.
Win Morisaki as Noriaki Kakyoin
Win Morisaki (Ready Player One) is the perfect young actor to embody the delicate but surprisingly resourceful Kakyoin.
Louis Garrel as Jean Pierre Polnareff
I'm not sure if Louis Garrel (Little Women) should really have that white flat-top hairstyle as Polnareff, but he'll be great in the role regardless.
Lucas Till as Hol Horse
I love the idea of Lucas Till (X-Men: Apocalypse, MacGyver) employing his good looks and Texan charm to play a villainous character like Hol Horse.
Ezra Miller as Dio Brando
The vampiric Dio hasn't aged since Phantom Blood, so Ezra Miller (Justice League) can reprise his role with only the usual amount of makeup.
Meg Foster as Enya
When I say that there's no actress better suited to play a terrifying witch than the legendary Meg Foster (They Live, Masters of the Universe) please understand I mean that as a compliment.
Adam Boyer as J. Geil
With prosthetics to accentuate his already unusual looks, Adam Boyer (Ozark) will be wonderfully unsettling as the deeply creepy J. Geil.
