Chosen One of the Day: The Earl of Lemongrab

If you’re familiar with Cartoon Network’s longrunning perfect cartoon Adventure Time, you may already have that wonderful, screechy, tinny voice in your head at the mere mention of the Earl of Lemongrab. 

Lemongrab is...a lot. He’s Princess Bubblegum’s very first botched-experiment (which makes him her heir!!! I can’t stand it!!!). He’s predictably sour, but unpredictably paranoid, mean, and very, very high-strung. When he shows up for the first time in Season 3, it’s ostensibly to take over the Candy Kingdom from Princess Bubblegame who was de-aged and is now too young to rule. 

Sidenote: If you have not watched Adventure Time you’re probably confused, but that’s UNACCEPTABLE so please leave and watch the entire series and then come back. 

What follows is the rule of a tyrant. He puts the candy people in “one million years dungeon” without a trial. He does not understand social niceties. Look, if I’m being honest, he’s pretty terrible but his scream is just the absolute most cathartic, wonderful, awful thing. 

Listen to it and let your skin crawl. Let your face scrunch up like you swallowed the very inspiration for our Good Earl. And hey, when life gives you Lemongrabs, your ears might bleed a little.