Chosen One of the Day: Els Renora, the Judge Judy of space

Early in the first season of Deep Space Nine—the episode “Dax” to be specific—a legal question is raised: Can a Trill composed of the Trill host and a symbiont be held legally accountable for the actions of their past lives? If so, Jadzia Dax could be on trial for murder of a general from Klaestron IV for sending a transmission, and definitely be held accountable for sleeping with his wife because whoooooops.

Obviously, Starfleet is invested in Dax not being sentenced to death for murder and the Klaestron IV delegation is, so a neutral judge must be summoned to answer this question. And as soon as Arbiter Els Renora arrives on Deep Space Nine and makes a courtroom out of a bar, she makes it clear she has ZERO time for shenanigans. “I am 100 years old,” she informs the assembled. "I do not have time to squander listening to superfluous language. In short, I intend being here until supper, not senility.”

Essentially, the judge is Star Trek’s answer to this gif.

Credit: CBS

Judge Els takes no prisoners, like asking why on earth the Klaestron IV delegation has waited 30 years to persecute Dax for this murder or snarkily recommending that the only real solution appears to be to cut Jadzia down the middle. (Upon being informed this is medically impossible, her only response is a bemused “What a surprise.”) She’s seen it all and heard it all, so when it’s revealed that Dax couldn’t have sent the transmission she’s accused of because Dax and the general’s wife were, uh, otherwise occupied, her only response is to tell off whatever idiot thought it was a good idea to bring the case forward in the first place. Justice is served (and so was the general's wife, heeeyyy).

Honestly, why this woman isn’t just in charge of all legal proceedings in Star Trek, I’ll never know.