Chosen One of the Day: Buff Baby Finn on Adventure Time

Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time is a series full of whimsy, heart, humor, and some truly, truly inspired music. Early on in the series, there’s an episode where our heroes, Jake-the-Dog and Finn-the-Human, have to save their friend Marceline-the-Vampire from an evil ex-boyfriend and a sleeping spell. 

This episode’s largely kind of a heartbreaker and gives us insight into Marceline’s past, but in true Adventure Time fashion, we couldn’t get there without a few detours. There’s memory walking, and a friend who is so deep into a misguided belief that you have to straight-up pull her into your own brain — pretty par for the course for Finn and Jake, to be honest. 

Marceline is walking through the hallways of Finn’s brain place when she comes upon a door, slightly ajar. She peeks inside. 

I’m a buff baby who can dance like a man, Marceline hears just before a very pure sight enters her vision. 

It’s Baby Finn, glad in his hood and a diaper, in a bathroom, standing on a clothes hamper so he can see himself, dancing and singing. His lil' tater tot bod is doing the most, I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a my can. 

I’m a tough tootin’ baby, I can puncha your buns. He’s sort of doing 60’s dance, the monkey here? 

He reiterates, Punch all your buns, I can punch all your buns. 

And now, for the grand finale, If you’re an evil witch, I will punch you for fun! 

Would that we all had such commitment to the fight of good over evil. … And that much rhythm as a toddler.